does your stuff own you?
Flylady sends this out once or twice a year. It always makes me think, and let go of another layer of stuff.
"Dear Friends,
Clutter has been our security blanket for a very long time. It
protected us from people, hard times and having to face ourselves.
When our homes are cluttered, we don't have people over. That way we
don't have to open ourselves up for the public to see how we really are.
Well I am here to tell you, you are worth getting to know. When you
get the clutter out of your home, you will not have to struggle with
the guilt of a messy house. Let's peel back these layers of clutter
and get down to the real you that has been hiding behind this wall. I
don't know you all, but I do know SHEs and we are a fun loving and
sweet bunch of people with enough enthusiasm to make the world stand
up and take notice. Our only problem is that we go full force or not
at all.
Just like a raging river, we are powerful, but if we could only
harness this strength in a more focused fashion. I think our routines
are the dam that channels this energy into a product system.
You know how hard you have worked in the past and then when the day
was over, you were worn out and nothing looked any better. Your
husband would come home and say," What have you been up to today?" You
would be crushed, because you had worked your Franny off and no one
could tell or you would be mad and pout or yell.
If you are having anxiety attacks about releasing some of this clutter
in your home; stop and think about what you are fearing.
1. Is it the security of have 3 of an item, in case one breaks?
2. How about the memories that the item evokes when you see it?
3. And there is always the "Aunt Mary gave us this when we married."
4. I spent a lot of money on this. I can't possibly give it away.
5. Oh, I can fix this, but it has been in the basement for 15 years
waiting to be fixed.
I want you to think about these reasons and look deep into the heart
of them.
I see you living your life from an "Oh poor me" attitude. You don't
want to let go of these things, because you feel you will never have
the money to replace them. We have to work on this.
I believe this is called hoarding. When you have things in your home
that you don't use and others could, this is what you are doing. We
have let our homes fill up to the rafters because we are afraid we
might need it sometime and then we won't have the money to buy it when
we do.
This attitude of "Oh Poor Me" needs to be addressed. When you think
poor, you will be poor. When you give, you will receive. This has been
the case for thousands of our members. Just the act of releasing the
clutter has filled them with such joy and love, that more blessings
have been bestowed upon them. Many people have discovered money in
their piles, in the form of coupons, gift certificates, and checks
they had forgotten about. Several years ago, I listened to Suze
Orman's books on tape and while I decluttered our home. She believes
that when we release the clutter that we respect ourselves and this
will bring more prosperity into our lives. My Sweet Darling gave me a
quote once that I love, "You are rich in proportion to what you can do
without".
Think RICH! If you look at something and have the thought, I might
need that someday, that is a sign that you are not thinking rich. If
you say, "Yes, I may have a use for this someday, but right now I
don't and when I do need it, I will be able to buy it." For now give
it to someone that will use it and that need it more than you do. You
will be blessed.
Now for those Aunt Mary Gifts and other stuff that evokes memories.
Why do you need things to remind you of someone you love? You have
your memories. If you need reminders, take a picture and put them in a
scrapbook or something. You don't need STUFF to evoke memories. A lot
of the time those memories are not much fun anyway. I got rid of
everything in my home that didn't make me smile when I looked at it. I
mean this; everything. Now I only have things around me that bring me
joy. When you can walk through your home with a smile on your face, I
have done my job.
Now let's address guilt; guilt at not liking an item that you got for
a gift. It is O.K. to not like it. It is also O.K. to let it go and
let someone else love it. I know that a lot of the things that are in
your homes are hand-me-downs. A family member gave them to you. You
also feel guilt about releasing these things. Don't! Why do you think
they gave them to you in the first place. They wanted them out of
their home. If they have served their purpose then, by all means let
them go to a new home.
I have been teased about this Declutter song for a long time now. I
just make up the words as I go, but I sing it from the STUFF's point
of view. And at the top of my lungs and that is not a pretty sound.
Listen closely:
PLEASE RELEASE ME LET ME GO! FOR YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!
You can do this.
FlyLady"
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